A path of Nothingness isn't nothing it is a path of self worth

So where do I begin? It's been two years since I posted anything on this blog. Where I have been? What happened too me? Questions and more questions. The fact is I got bored off everything. My faith, job and life in general. I just decided to do nothing! Though i still went to church and just did life. Though I have real no stories to tell as I didn't do nothing to create stories to tell. Sad really isn't it. Imagine what it would be like for me standing before God at his throne and him asking me, "What did you do for me?" 

I will probably have the most empty looking face in heaven as my answer would end up being...Nothing!

It's 2015 and I'm in a newish job. Been in since late 2014. My life has gone full circle once again. I'm in a bakery within a factory setting and I work nights. Church life is pretty much a two Sunday in a month routine with me. The rest of my life consists of working and sleeping. Then the rest is filled up with TV. Which is getting boring really. I try to live my christian life but failing is a concept that is actually a profession for me more so than my job. I have took into drinking beer on my days off which usually starts once I get up in the afternoons after a two to three kip. Though I tell people my drinking is small and that it doesn't take over. I know that to be a lie.

I released that I have been drinking too much when I took a weekend away with my brother and his friends to Kraków for my brothers stag. I was lying in the bathroom being sick when I had this thought flash into my head. "Where is my life going?"

You always hear folks say that those who drink too much say that they will never drink again but truth be told this was a different thought in its self. Mine was one of regret I'm failing God and myself and I have allowed jealousy and self pity to take hold. Jealousy of all those including my brother who are getting married are that are married and I feel lift behind then the self pity falls into that area. 

Blindness is what I call it more so as God has been blessing me with my own home to learn independence before he decides to allow a companion on my journey and also he has blessed me with a secure job. I do miss church but I technically am lazy as I can get to church on a Sunday evening if I pushed myself to get out of bed. Your probably wondering why your reading this but the truth of the matter is this. The thought of doing nothing, being lazy, jealousy and self pity is themes that we as Christians struggle with everyday. I'm blogging this as a form of truthfulness showing you that your not alone.

We always feel that we are doing Nothing but in fact we are doing Something! We are working on becoming something more for God so later on in our journeys with Christ we will have life lessons for those who we meet or own children who we will create. We will be able to say that we have been there and there is a way, a path of correction. If it is drink could mean taking less or taking none. Self pity could be away to mature in our faith as we are not alone knowing God is there. Being lazy means getting a kick in the butt to motative ourselves to go to church when we are tired after a long night in work. Jealousy of our loved ones and friends and wishing we had what they have. Though there isn't anything wrong with wanting a family but it might not be our time.

A path of Nothingness isn't nothing it is a path of self worth, maturity and it is knowing that God has more for us when we feel that life has become boring and bland. We all have a story and we all are on a Journey with a God, creator and divine mentor who who knows that nothingness is a lie. You are doing something. Growing!